I got the new facebook timeline update so I could get a pretty picture at the top of my facebook. And when I saw that you could read all of your facebook history on it, I got incredibly excited. And rightfully so. I discovered lots of cool things I'd forgotten about, like a 75-comment conversation...or two (and I've barely made a dent).
So why the post title?
Because honestly it's like I'm in the past, as the person I am now, watching the past 3 years unfold. It's like I'm watching myself make any mistakes I made in the past 3 years and slowly lose my always-cheery and easy outlook on life. Two years ago my statuses are funny, now sometimes they are and sometimes they're vague and sometimes I don't feel clever enough to say anything at all. It's things like this that make me mourn for the past. I mourn it the way you mourn a a friend that has abandoned you--not died--just left--and you know they'll never come back and that you should stop worrying about it but you keep wondering what you would do or say to them if they did and how you would handle it and them with all of the knowledge you now have.
I have no idea if that analogy worked the way it was supposed to.
I should not be thinking or feeling this way. I'm almost sixteen, not almost 60. I should be looking at the days ahead with wonder and excitement, not all jaded and caught up in the past. So I guess that's what I'll try to do. Any tips?
And will I feel this way about my present-self in three more years? Probably.
But at the same time (yay for contradiction!) I don't know if I have changed and become jaded so much as evolved and grown. Which is never a bad thing. Still...
And yeah. That concludes today's pointless, rambly post.
(Note: When I mention mistakes, I'm not talking about one real thing that I could tell you all about. It's just more a general thing. So...)
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