The Delicate Genius

2012-01-27T17:31:00.001-08:00

It's Time To Meme It Up In Here

2012-01-27T17:30:00.000-08:00

Insanity Wolf

Socially Awkward Penguin

Musically Oblivious 8th Grader

I forget this guy's name but who cares.

Hipster Cat

Man Vs. Wild Guy whose last name I'm not going to try to spell.

Chuck Norris

Anxiety Cat

Conspiracy Keanu

Pawn Stars

Paranoid Parrot

Another Socially Awkward Penguin cause I really relate to them, sadly enough.

What.

2012-01-02T18:22:00.001-08:00

So this blog hit 50 followers today. Somehow, this is much much weirder to me than my book blog getting 1100 followers today. I mean, cause there, I do not just ramble on about myself and my life. I speak about books and the end. And now even there I've had a few people tell me that they'd like to see more personal stuff about me there, too.

WTF, internet people? I'm not even interesting...

Anyways, don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful. Just...surprised. But thanks.

Oh, and don't go back and look at posts I wrote 3 years ago. Please.

2011-12-31T20:08:00.001-08:00

My New Year's Resolution is, I think, a simple one:

When I see a problem with myself or an aspect of my life, I fix it immediately.

Or at least it sounds simple. But it's never as simple as it sounds.

Oh and also:

Facebook Timeline and Sanity Cannot Coexist

2011-12-29T21:54:00.001-08:00

I got the new facebook timeline update so I could get a pretty picture at the top of my facebook. And when I saw that you could read all of your facebook history on it, I got incredibly excited. And rightfully so. I discovered lots of cool things I'd forgotten about, like a 75-comment conversation...or two (and I've barely made a dent).

So why the post title?

Because honestly it's like I'm in the past, as the person I am now, watching the past 3 years unfold. It's like I'm watching myself make any mistakes I made in the past 3 years and slowly lose my always-cheery and easy outlook on life. Two years ago my statuses are funny, now sometimes they are and sometimes they're vague and sometimes I don't feel clever enough to say anything at all. It's things like this that make me mourn for the past. I mourn it the way you mourn a a friend that has abandoned you--not died--just left--and you know they'll never come back and that you should stop worrying about it but you keep wondering what you would do or say to them if they did and how you would handle it and them with all of the knowledge you now have.

I have no idea if that analogy worked the way it was supposed to.

I should not be thinking or feeling this way. I'm almost sixteen, not almost 60. I should be looking at the days ahead with wonder and excitement, not all jaded and caught up in the past. So I guess that's what I'll try to do. Any tips?

And will I feel this way about my present-self in three more years? Probably.

But at the same time (yay for contradiction!) I don't know if I have changed and become jaded so much as evolved and grown. Which is never a bad thing. Still...

And yeah. That concludes today's pointless, rambly post.

(Note: When I mention mistakes, I'm not talking about one real thing that I could tell you all about. It's just more a general thing. So...)

Laaast Christmas, I gave you my gallbladder.

2011-12-26T17:42:00.001-08:00

I hate Christmas carols. They get so overplayer before and during Christmas, and then they're still stuck in your head until the new year. And then when you're trying to title your blog posts, you can only think of bad references to even worse songs.

But this post is not about that. This post is more about food and money and phones.

I guess I'll start with Friday. We were at my aunts for a pre-Christmas get together. We had pizza and salad...but mostly pizza. Now, if you'll recall, my family and I have been on a super-healthy vegan diet. We all vowed to throw caution to the wind and abandon our diets for the holidays, so I partook in a slice (or two or three) of pepperoni pizza. About an hour and a half afterwards, I was in a tremendous amount of pain. I ran to the bathroom, lifted up the toilet seat, and leaned over it, preparing for...well, let's just call it The Worst.

In like 10 minutes, the pain was gone, and I had not done The Worst. After my--what my family and I have come to call "episodes"--I felt perfectly fine. That night we had Subway for dinner, and I had another episode. I'd say it was even worse. There was much more moaning and groaning.

The next day was Christmas eve. I'm sure I've mentioned my family's Christmas eve celebration, but in case I haven't: it is an event in which all of our closest family comes to eat and eat. There's cheese fondue, cookies (with bacon!), cheese and crackers, spinach dip, Chick Fil A chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and so on. My parents told me to take a lot of vitamins that helped with digestion and stuff and to try and take it easy but also eat. I did this. I was in extreme pain twice that night.

The next day was (obviously) Christmas. My family now believed it was my gallbladder, and that fat was causing the problem. So I ate no fat. I ate fruit and green bean salad and stared longingly at everyone else's plates.

BUT, my Christmas was not entirely filled with pain and self-pity. No, it was pretty awesome. I got the least I'll need for NYC, lots of socks, and A NEW PHONE. A SMART ONE. It is what I'm writing this on now.

Anyways, I'm starting my gallbladder cleanse tomorrow. Meaning I'll only be drinking apple juice and eating apples. Then I drink olive oil. I'm so looking forward to it.

The end.

GUESS WHAT?

2011-11-27T17:19:00.001-08:00

THAT'S RIGHT.

I WROTE A BOOK.

It's a super crappy rough draft.

Like, no, really crappy.

But it's MINE and it's 50,000 words long and it's got my characters and and

I'm excited.

I sent it to mom, even though I really didn't want to. Next I'll probably have to send it to dad, even though he'll hate it, then Jamie's Elsewhere cause apparently I promised her I would (why'd I do that?). Then it's editing editing editing.

So yeah I'm a writer now. Which is kinda a big deal, because I was beginning to think I'd never be able to finish a manuscript and I'd be doomed to work in a cubicle.

Me gusta.

2011-11-18T17:43:00.001-08:00

"No matter what happens, no matter what is taken from you, no matter what tragedy befalls you, there are certain parts of who we are that nobody can touch, no matter what. Those elements make up the type of person that we are, and are some of the most important foundation pieces for who we will become in our life and the direction that we’ll go. Even if you’ve been kicked down, that is something that you can always hold on to no matter what. You will always be able to use those things to rebuild because those are the foundations for who you are."
--Tim McIlrath

Thirty Thousand.

2011-11-17T12:24:00.001-08:00

I am THIRTY THOUSAND WORDS into my book.

That's my...eager face.

I'm shocked. I don't think I expected to get this far before I gave up.

Thirty thousand words is a BIG DEAL, because I've never gotten over 15,000 in a book before. ~~Also it means my characters can make out now YAY.~~ I'm very excited about this.

Of course, that also means we are getting closer to the Sadly Parts and the Very Sadly But Also Hopeful Ending. No clue how I'm going to write about that but I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO FIND A WAY.

And it's horrible, of course. But I know I can edit it later. Plus even John Green's first drafts suck, I'm sure. (Not as much as mine suck--I mean, I use "and" and "though" WAY too much. But still.)

My brain since yesterday:

2011-11-15T08:53:00.001-08:00

THEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESTHEHUNGERGAMESSENECACRANE'SBEARD.

It's So Cold In The D.

2011-11-12T11:03:00.001-08:00

It Has Been Four Days Since I've Last Had Cheese

2011-11-10T17:27:00.001-08:00

And I'm yelling at everyone who talks about it.

Parmesan is a dirty word. About as dirty as pizza, which obviously I also can't have.

I'm also not eating meat or any other dairy or sugar or white flour or anything processed, but what I miss most--more than anything at all--is CHEESE.

This is how I imagine my face would be if I saw cheese. CREEPY RIGHT.

...We have a lot of salads, obviously. But only with balsamic dressing, because I forgot to mention we cannot have oil. I'm getting very sick of salads already and it's only been like 4 days.

I don't think of food until I'm eating, is the weird thing. I stare at my beans or salad or steamed vegetables and think, "You know what everyone else in the world is having right now? Cheeeeeeese. AND I BET IT'S DELICIOUS."

I mean, yay for dieting woo hoo let's lose weight etc. But it's the first week of the diet and I'm just like CHEESE ME PLEASE.

...I think I may like food too much, guys.

2011-11-09T17:27:00.001-08:00

My life is like five times funnier than Last Man Standing.
And they writing's way better, too.
I'm just sayin'.

In Which I Continue To Ramble About Writing And Nano and You Continue Not To Care

2011-11-06T21:12:00.000-08:00

I am at 11,000 words. Meaning I passed the 10,000 word wall. I mean, there is still time for a wall, but it is not here.

Which is weird, because I didn't outline. At all. Which last year seemed to really work for me. Now I'm just...going? And not just with plotting. With the writing, too. I am giving myself complete creative control and it feels fantastic. There are one or two sentences that
are
like this
and I'll probably have to go back and fix them if I finish this and/or it ever sees the light of day. My point, though, is that I'm still very happy with this (or, as happy as I should be. I mean, it's a first draft) and that's not something to be taken lightly.

Perhaps it helps that this is the first time I've tried to write a book in...MONTHS. I forgot how much I loved writing.

...Anyways.

Nanowrimo Update

2011-11-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

I'm doing good but I haven't hit my ten-thousand-word-wall yet, in which I freak out and decide that my story's crappy.

I'm also worried that I don't have enough material to make it to 50,000 words. And that Lola and the Boy Next Door will distract me.

Also, this is my internet homepage:

True story.

2011-10-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

Why do I always think the short stories I'm working on suck?

2011-10-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

2011-10-17T20:05:00.001-07:00

A more accurate Frosted Flakes commercial: Kid runs around for an hour then falls asleep on the floot. Kid does NOT go win a soccer game.

I'm just sayin.

In Which I Am A Fear-Conquering Mucka Lucka

2011-10-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

There's a possibility that you remember how, back in April, I faced my fear and rode a bunch of roller coasters including that one that's really high. I guess you could say I did something similar this past Friday.

I have a deathly fear of escalators. I don't remember what brought it on, but I do remember being 8 and crying at the top of an escalator telling my friend's mom I couldn't do it.

And then me, at different ages, at the top of the escalator crying and telling my own mom I couldn't do it until finally she believed me.

I don't know why I have this fear. Especially of going-down ones. It's like a million bloody, awful scenarios run through my head and before I can stop it my head gets fuzzy and my stomach starts to cramp and on top of it all I feel like a failure for not doing the simplest of tasks. It's been years since I even tried to go down an escalator.

Anyways, Friday we went to a mall. They had escalators. Short ones. Ones that I had very bad memories of. Some one brought up me going up one, because everyone's been saying that I must if I want to, you know, go places and do things and not miss planes. So I went up. Easy.

Then there was a suggestion of going down.

And I realized it'd been forever since I even tried, so I did. And I did it.

At this point I'm like, "STOP PHOTOSHOPPING JESSICA YOU'RE BAD AT IT!" but it's like I can't hear it or something cause I can't stop.

My mom screamed and jumped like Nicolas Cage just told her he liked her hair, which got weird looks from just about everyone--including dad and auntie. But who cares, right?

It was kind of bumpy and still a bit nerve-wracking, BUT.

My Christmas Wish List

2011-09-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

Why hello there!

Karen's told me that she needs a list...but there will be no list this year, because all I'm asking you for is cold hard cash. (Or just cold cash or hard cash or hey, even just cash.)

I know it's boring to give (and believe me, it's kinda boring to receive) BUT I need it. Mother and I are planning on going on my dream vacation for my big 16th birthday--NYC. I've wanted to go here as long as I can remember--no exaggeration--and I need all of the money I possibly can to make my dream a reality.

Yeah yeah, it's still boring for YOU, I know. But a) I will hug you extra hard and b) look how good I'll look in NYC:

Do YOU want to be the one to keep me from finding my soul mate on top of a building and become possessed by a poltergeist?! I DIDN'T THINK SO.

See, you're not buying me objects; you're buying me an experience that'll last a lifetime.

(Plus you know those pictures were worth a crapload just by themselves.)

Thanks!

2011-09-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with old people?

2011-09-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but last year when we went to the beach, these was this creepy, clingy elderly woman who was just...weird. She wouldn't leave us alone. She made us hold her hand in the ocean. We finally told her to go look at sand castles and got all of our stuff faster than I ever thought possible and ran away.

So about a year later (a month since, now) I go to my aunt's house. She lives on the "beach" (I use the quotation marks because it's not technically a beach, just a place with water and sand or something like that, but whatever) so we went. There were barely any people there, so we thought it was a perfect beach day.

We went in the water and immediately some old guy starts chatting up my aunt. It starts as friendly small-talk. "Where you from?" "Nice weather, hmmm?" "My grandchildren hate me." Etc.

I knew things were going to be going downhill when he asked my aunt, "So, are these your grandchildren?"

Al and Boy-Boy and I were all:

And Aunt was just kinda:

But she brushed it off admirably.

Then somehow it got brought up that we were homeschooled, and Old Creepy Guy said that he approved of this, because then we would not get taught "the values of having two mommies." This led to talk of homosexuality, abortion, and maybe something else. I honestly am not very sure, because before he could start I got out of the water and sipped on my Dr. Thunder while ignoring my aunt's beseeching gaze. I've never been one for people pushing their opinions down my throat.

Finally I took pity on her and went back in the water just in time to hear him quizzing my little sister about the subjects she takes. After a couple of minutes listening to Al go on, turning certain classes into much more "respectable courses" (drama club became public speaking, but I'd also say it helped with her improv), Aunt finally said, "Well, they're unschoolers. They have a much more relaxed curriculum and learn a lot on their own."

You would've think she said we looked up to Dexter Morgan, he swam away so fast.

We enjoyed out Creepy Old-Guy-less time as much as possible before he came back. Basically, he called my aunt an idiot because she didn't know her exact heritage. He "schooled" her, as he put it. Then he finally told us to have a nice day, and limped out of the water, lay on the sand, and died.

I'm kidding. He didn't really die. But I thought he did for a second.

So, much like we did with Grandma Mary a year earlier, we packed up our stuff and ran for it before he decided to talk about immigration or premarital sex or something.

Oh, and an hour later there was an earthquake. ("No, it's just the washer," my sister says.)

Is there an Old Lonely People Radar or something?

Bye.

2011-08-25T13:09:00.001-07:00

2011-08-23T08:14:00.001-07:00

I love it when my family is spontaneous.

2011-08-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

Shockingly, I'm not being sarcastic.

Boy-Boy and Al decided that they needed a ferret. Today. They were willing to spend all of their money to go get a ferret. Today.

So guess where I was this Friday night?

I was at Petco (where the pets go!) watching everyone pick out a ferret and get the litter and food and cage and stuff instead of staying home reading like I usually do on Friday nights. (My life is so exciting!)

It's always fun when we change plans and go do spontaneous things like this. You can't really process it but it's still so exciting and weeee.

We named it Willow. She's white and spazzy and cute and not a biter. (Everyone seems to worry about the biting thing...)

This Summer/I Am Difficult

2011-08-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

This has been a completely uneventful summer.

And I'm not exaggerating. No. Events. Have taken place.

I wake up late and go to bed late. I read all day. I eat nothing but stuff that's good for me, including summer-y foods like watermelon. I go swimming. I do crap on the computer, a la find funny gifs and awesome pictures of Tim McIlrath. I try to ignore the Phineas and Ferb playing in the background for the 50th time that day. I daydream about how much better life would be if Sam Roth were my actual boyfriend and not just my literary one. I constantly wish Facebook would become about 20x more interesting than it is, and then I check it again.

Come September, and I'll be starting school-work-stuff, so I should be grateful for the laziness while I can.

But. Y'know.

It's like when I can be lazy, I feel like I should be doing more. Like I feel there's more to the life I've been given than sitting on my butt and wasting time until I can call it tomorrow. Then when I actually start doing more, I realize that I was so very, very wrong.

There's no winning with me, is there?

Oh, and sidenote: It doesn't matter if I take a shower right after I swim; I cannot get rid of the chlorine smell that has attached itself to me.

2011-07-30T18:35:00.001-07:00

I think I've run out of interesting things to say.

2011-07-27T17:41:00.001-07:00

Reading and Harry Potter and Voldemort and Stuff.

2011-07-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lot.

And by this, I mean I am about to start the 4th book I've read since Monday morning. If you want to count since Saturday, it'd be my 6th.

I have a reason, I swear. I'm doing this readathon thing, where basically you read for three days straight and you can tell your mother, "But it's readathon, mom! I can't do the dishes! I have to read! Do you want me to break my commitment to this event?" Though it doesn't work at all, really. But you can still say it.

I just kinda had to stop reading for a minute after finishing The Boy Book (DON'T JUDGE ME!). You know when your eyes get all fuzzy and you need to clear your head for a minute? Yeah, that kind of need.

But I'm about to start the second Harry Potter book. I finished the first one this morning (after trying to wake up to read earlier than I really wanted me to, apparently, cause I fell asleep with the book in my hand more times than I could count. Which is the first time I've ever done that with a book), and obviously I loved it a great deal. The second book--Chamber of Secrets--wasn't even in my Designated Readathon Reading Pile, buuut.

I know that I usually don't talk books on this blog, but a) it's all I've been doing for the past two days (well that and eating too much, and texting, and texting about how badly I want to eat) and b) it's Harry Potter, so I'm sure most of you have already read it and don't mind reading about it.

Speaking of HP: I had a dream that Voldemort wanted Al to, I dunno, torture her and stuff I guess. I shouted "NOOOOOO" and grabbed the nearest plastic lawn chair. I then proceeded to jab at Voldemorts balls (yes, those balls) with the leg of the lawn chair while shouting warrior-screeches, or something that resembled them. Voldemort, being to super-evil and awesome tweeter thing that he is, was unfazed by this. He even smirked at me, as if to say, "Please girlfriend, I gotz balls of steel." (Cue Dipstick's phone-button-ap.) Then when that didn't work, everyone in the room got bored and went to watch TV.

*clears throat* Annnyways. Enough of that. My knuckles are sore, and I don't know why. It's not like I've done anything that requires strenuous squeezing. Just reading. So it's aggravating.

Crap. I think I lost my bookmark. I need to go find it.

That is all.

Happyhappy.

2011-07-06T19:03:00.000-07:00

So today was--kinda surprisingly--really good.

I woke up and I'm pretty sure I'd had a bad dream, cause it seemed like the first thing I thought of this morning are little things that've been bothering me that I've been trying to not think about. I took this as a sign that the day was going to suck. Apparently, I was wrong.

I've been doing this art class for a while now. It was a couple weeks early this year, then (for the teacher's health reasons) we picked it up again a few weeks ago. I always dread going to it, probably because it is summer and I am a hermit. Though really, when I get there and actually starting art-ing, I really enjoy it. We were asked to do a recreation of a picture, and I brought in the cover of Looking For Alaska that I did with pastels. Here's how it ended up:

To say I was happy with how it turned out is kind of a gigantic understatement. I cradled that thing home like it was a freaking baby. It's seriously the most beautiful thing I've ever created. I'm going to frame it. And then put a velvet rope around the piece of wall it will hang from. (Anybody know where I can buy a velvet rope?) But until I get a frame, I'm just gonna pimp it out all over the Internet. Including here, obviously.

After I proudly displayed my picture to mom and cradled it some more and sent Skizz and Dipstick pictures of it, we went out to eat. I had a steak sub. It was very good. I realize that this might be a strange thing to put on a post about why today is awesome, but I really like food.

Then we went to the library and I got The Boy Book. (DON'T JUDGE ME, K.)

Next we drove home while listening to Fences and talking. Naturally, we then got to the house, and I got on the computer and tweeted like a madwoman until...well, I never really stopped, actually. Except when we ate dinner and while I did the dishes.

Other stuff happened, but this big headline is this: the Toronto Public Library promoted my blog and even said super-nice things about it. And they listed me with Nerdfighters. NERDFIGHTERS, PEOPLE. (Which, in case you didn't know, is a giant awesome John Green and Hank Green site.) It's been a very John Green-y day. Maybe this means I need to read a John Green book I haven't ready yet very soon? Well, if the universe insists...

And tonight, I will either watch So You Think You Can Dance or read.

So, to sum it all up, today was:


Hot Rod FTW.

(I said, "I" a lot in this post, didn't I?)

The Great Fly Battle of Last Night.

2011-06-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

(With gifs.)

I've never been one to freak out over a fly. Moths, sure, but never flies.

But apparently it was just because I'd never met the right fly. The fly that I found last night.

Our story begins with our heroine (me) on the toilet. I know that sounds like a gross beginning to a story, but bear with me. Anyways, there was this fly in the bathroom. It was not a smart fly. In fact, one may call it a mentally handicapped fly. At least I did, because this fly kept throwing itself into the bathroom light like the song "Reunited" was playing and it hadn't seen a light in months.

But when he wasn't doing Lord-knows-what with the light, he was coming for me. And he was a loud sucker, too. So his sound was about as annoying as the act of flying around my head. Which was a lot.

So I got up from the toilet, and went to wash my face. I swear the fly decided that my face was a freaking light-bulb or something, cause he was determined to be near my face. So I went in the hallway to wash my face.

Then I gathered all my stuff to go upstairs to bed. As I was walking up the stairs, I actually thought, "Finally, away from that stupid fly."

Which is about the time the fly started buzzing around my head.

So I think I mumbled something under my breath, then went into the upstairs bathroom. (Only to brush my teeth. I swear.) Then back downstairs cause I'd forgotten my headphones.

Finally, I made it to my bedroom. I shut my door behind me--something I never do cause then how could you see if some creeper was watching you sleep?--specifically to keep this agitating fly out of my room. I lay down in my bed with my book, and then...

I heard it.

The obnoxiously loud buzzing.

For some reason, I really didn't want this fly in my bedroom. Maybe it felt too personal--I mean, I'd only just met the fly--or maybe it was something else. Like that he might poop all over me while I sleep. Or he'd fly into my mouth and I'd eat it. Or maybe he'd just fly straight into my throat and choke me. Like in that one Spongebob episode. If it could happen to a conscious cartoon fish, it could happen to an unconscious me.

I tried to tap the fly off of my lamp and towards my (now open) door. He landed on the outside of my door, so I shut it speedyquick.

I stood there for a minute, looking around for the fly, listening for the buzzing.

Just before I went to lay down, I saw it. And by this point, I was effing done with this effing fly.

He landed on a piece of paper dangling from my corkboard, so I did it. I slammed my hardcover book against the wall. I looked at the book. No fly guts. I was about to shout so loud it'd have woken up my neighbors, but I saw the shadow of something from behind the paper. And when I looked behind the paper, there was a smashed fly carcass stuck to my wall.

Victory.

Insert Relevant Title Here

2011-06-28T20:50:00.000-07:00

My toes are cold. Original, I know.

Lately I've been obsessed with Caesar salads. I think it's the croutons.

Also, I'm obsessed with John Malkovich. Though this is not really a recent thing, and it's not because of the croutons. Though I'm sure John loves croutons.

On a different note:

I seem to be losing track of time. Seriously, I cannot tell what day was how long ago and what happened that day. Maybe it's Alzheimers. Or maybe there is some Buffy-like curse that's making my days all blur together. Or maybe I've just lost the ability to count. I didn't realize I was that bad at math.

Either way, though, it's definitely odd.

This whole month has been odd, really. More like I have been odd this month. I'm not going into details about how and why, just because it's too new, personal, and stupid right now and even I still don't know what's happening most of the time. I know that's really vague and all but I can't be bothered to care about that anymore, to be honest.

I am wearing a Halloween shirt and Christmas pajama pants. I feel very festive. Maybe I should go grab my bunny ears just for good measure.

I swear my blogging is decreasing in quality. It's just one random sentence after another. Sorry 'bout that.

Annnd. That might be it. So thanks for bearing with me.

One of my favorite SNL skits. Ever.

2011-06-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

This commerical is still awesome.

2011-06-19T19:23:00.000-07:00

I'm miles from where you are,

2011-06-12T22:58:00.000-07:00

I lay down on the cold ground. (THIS SONG.)

So there have been goings-ons. Mostly at Skizz's, as she is abandoning me for relatives in Alaska for the entire Summer and I need to soak up as much of her and her family as possible. ...But not in a creepy way...

We pretty much just did what we always do, except for a few new things, like The Upside Down Show and shooting her brother repeatedly with Nerf guns for no real reason (he was wearing a target. And I think he kinda started it...?). I was there pretty much all week. It is weird when you come home and have to re-adjust to your regular life. A good weird, though.

Another thing about Skizz's house is that she plays music constantly, which I greatly approve of. Except now I have a song in my head whose name is alluding me. I know it's Snow Patrol, and there's a chick on guest vocal...?

OH YEAH FOUND IT. Maybe Mom's right. Maybe Google IS the answer to everything. Moving on.

Tomorrow, my grandpa and aunt and cousin are coming over. I'm guessing there will be swimming.

Oh! I never mentioned this, which is pretty much the coolest thing since crab legs, even if I didn't technically win because a) it's the first time I've ever submitted anything anywhere and b) I still got a post and a prize so. It's especially amazing if you read the comments.

I guess I'll go to bed now.

(Why can I not write a blog post on one just topic anymore?)

JEFFY

This Started As A Facebook Status.

2011-06-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

I know it seems like I do is make lists, but... I'm gonna make some lists.

To-do list for tomorrow:

--Take a shower. For real.
--Try and read. I haven't wanted to for a while now and it's bugging me.
--Soak up as much of my Sirius radio as possible. (Rental car)
--Pick up Skizz, I think. :D
--Start doing moderately good on my new diet. I probably won't get hardcore about it until Monday. (I wonder how many times I've said "we're starting a diet" on this blog...)
--Um...I dunno...go to the bathroom?

What I did this week so far:

--Went to Skizz&Co's.
--Learned what Rule 34 of the internet is.
--Beat Skizz at chess for the first time EVER. (I don't care what anyone else says. It was a victory.)
--Watched her lil bro's baseball game in the scorching heat while wearing Dipstick's shorts.
--Watched a significant amount of Firefly.
--Realized that Boy-Boy has the manners of a constipated penguin.
--Ate kabobs.
--Got a rental car while mom's is at the dealer's.
--Discovered that said rental car has Sirius radio.
--Spazzed about it.
--Came home, which was as bittersweet as usual.
--Wrote this post.
--And some other stuff.

Funny things from the internet that are usually not age appropriate:

--Paranoid Parents. Mostly cause HOLY CRAP I KNOW THAT MOM.
--Rage Comics.
--Hyperbole and a Half.
--Comixed.
--Hipster Kitty.

Yep.

JEFFY

What My Facebook Friends Think of Me.

2011-05-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

0.o

So you may or may not know about this Facebook app in which people anonymously answer questions about you. You can answer so many questions to see who said such-and-such about you, etc. With me being very bored and impressed with myself for figuring out how to take a screenshot, I thought I'd share the results with you.

-------------------------

You know me so well Random FB Friend!

-------------------------

OH YEAH.

-------------------------

This probably means you're short... If so then you're probably right!

-------------------------

Wow...you think really highly of me...

-------------------------

I will be honest: I had to Google "fist pound". Once I did, I felt fairly stupid.

-------------------------

This is my only career aspiration. :p

-------------------------

:'(

-------------------------

Am I seriously that unattractive?! I HAVE A GOOD PERSONALITY DOESN'T THAT COUNT FOR ANYTHING?

-------------------------

Oh wow that's so adorable you don't think I'm as big of a loser that I am.

-------------------------

(These are all probably fake answers anyways.)

JEFFY

HAHAHA TOLD YA SO.

2011-05-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

Me:

Harold Camping:

Suck on that, Camping.

JEFFY

The Rapture is Upon Us?

2011-05-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

LOL don't think so.

The end of the world fascinates me.* Not in a creepy morbid way or anything, but in the way that people freak out about it. Cause, really? There's no point to spazzing about it, in my opinion. Everything happens.

My unusually calm attitude towards the rapture probably has something to do with me not believing in the end of the world. Well, I do, but not the kind where one nutjob predicts it. The same goes with the 2012 thing.

Plus, I hear there will be raptors today. How freaking awesome is that?!

Remember: They can open doors.

Plus, even today is judgement day, I am content because I have done the following:

--Finished Jellicoe Road today. It was amaaaaaaaazing.
--Seen Rise Against. Twice.
--Listened to Endgame. A lot.
--Gotten over some fears.
--...Other stuff just a little too personal to post.

But, of course, there are things I still have not gotten to do. Like:

--Reach internet fame.
--Write a book.
--Shout at somebody...
--Lose my virginity.

Though I've seen Rise Against twice, so I can still die happy without losing my virginity. :D

*According to the guy who predicted today is judgement day, Harold Camping**, today is only the day where all of the good people go to heaven and the rest stay on Earth and face the wrath of teh raptors. But whatever, close enough. Like I said, I don't buy into it. Who trusts a guy whose last name is "Camping"? Not I.

**Fun fact: Harold Camping also predicted the world would end in 1994. Maybe we're in the Matrix right now...

JEFFY

Maybe I'll post tomorrow but right now I'm unable to cause OMG SO TIRED.

2011-05-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

2011-05-16T09:13:00.001-07:00

We're on our way to the water park.

Al is in the front seat. I'm in the back. Oh the injustice of it all!

Now Al's trying to navigate mom around. I have a feeling this will be enough fun to make me forget about the world's injustices.

(Sorry for the spasticlly ((is that a word?) random post. I was just bored and remembered I hadn't blogged in a while.)

While My Internet Is Working I Shall Blog.

2011-04-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

So...yeah...

Our broadband has been crapping out like...um, something that craps out. A lot. Which I do not approve of, as half of my life is on the computer.

The other half? Well, lately it's been books and roller coasters. I've been reading like mad lately (I'd highly recommend Lili Wilkinson's novel, Pink and Jeri Smith Ready's Shade and Shift), and going to the amusement park any chance I get. I went today, and there's a decent possibility I'm going tomorrow if the weather holds out, so *looks up* HOLD OUT WEATHER, MMMK?

Oh, and I've been listening to Vices & Virtues since I got it. And resisting the urge to randomly say "I led the revolution in my bedroom."

Also: does anyone else feel like a creeper when you look at your friends super-old facebook statuses?

Well, imma go get some ranch flavored rice cakes now. (Yep, we're dieting. Again.)

JEFFY

I showed that roller coaster who's boss.

2011-04-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

LIKE A BOSS. (Couldn't resist.)

So Skizz and Dipstick--geez their names are so outdated--showed up yesterday and took me back to King's Dominion.

Remember that one roller coaster I couldn't ride?

Well, I rode it.

3 times.

It was beyond amazing. I passed out each time.WEEEEEEEEEE. It probably gave me brain damage, but apparently so does head-banging, so I'm already dumed. (Heh, see what I did there? *chuckles* Oh I'm so clever.)

I miss you already, Intimidator.

JEFFY

Homework's about as much fun as dead puppies.

2011-04-06T17:02:00.001-07:00

An Update on Life and Other Stuff (Very Random and Lame)

2011-04-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

Cause I keep getting a couple followers and now I feel obligated to post something.

I should be asleep right now (have to get up at like 7:30. UGH) so imma make this quick:

Buffy. Buffy has been what's going on with my life. We are 7 episodes away from finishing the series and that is where all my free time is currently be spent. And it's strange cause in a way I'll be glad to get all my free time back, but I'll also be uber-bummed that it's over.

Also, I'm pretty sure something bad's gonna happen in the finale. DARN YOU WHEDOOOOON!

My favorite character? SPIKE. I love his character so much it's not even funny. I love his humor. I love his epic facial expressions (oh whoops that last one really wasn't his face. My bad). You get the idea.

Now, no more Buffy talk:

Today we went to King's Dominion. I rode a lot of roller coasters, something that I love but usually get scared away from. And this time I only got scared away from one--but it's reallyreallyreally tall and I don't do heights--so I'd say my fear-tackling was successful overall. Fun times were had by all. PLUS Skizz and Dipstick gave me THIS:

25 cents at a yard sale. Who would give this away you ask? I don't know, I don't think they're sane, I just know I got it so YAY.

Oh, and did I ever tell you guys that I re-dyed and cut my hair?

Of course now--after two weeks--it's pretty much faded. Le sigh.

And now I'm going to bed, leaving you with my ramblings and a strong recommendation to listen to this song.

(HOLY CRAP IT'S 11:11! I WISH I HAD A PONY! ...Or a Spike. You know, whatever's convenient.)

JEFFY

Story of my Life:

2011-03-31T16:05:00.000-07:00

JEFFY

Joss Whedon and Pixar are Evil

2011-03-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

And by evil, of course I mean Every Villain Is Lemons. Obviously.

So the other night, I was watching Up. And you know the whole beginning, where the couple's all "La la la we're so in love" and then the wife DIES. Well, I teared up. And it's not like this is my first time seeing the movie, it's my third.

Have I ever mentioned how I don't cry? Like, ever? Like, to the extent of un-crying that has caused people to call me The Ice Queen, and refer to my heart (when I'm not being called heartless) as The Black Hole.

I just don't cry. Especially at movies. So I have no idea why I was getting so close to it when an animated old lady died.

And that got me thinking about each of the times I've teared up or cried at movies. They are as follows:

Monsters Inc.

(In my defense, I was really young...but then again I still tear up when I watch it, so...)

Two Brothers

(I was 8. And I bawled like a baby, though I can't remember why. Probably cause I refuse to watch that movie ever. again.)

Serenity

(*sniffle sniffle*)

Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog

(Every. Frickin. Time.)

(Well...yeah.)

The Buffy When Everyone Was Being A Buttcheese to Spike In The Past And Present

(Barely. But it was REALLY SAD and it made me wanna give Spike a hug. Though I doubt he'd accept my hugs. I'd just have to FORCE HIM TO ACCEPT THEM. ...Is that legal?)

(And I got reeeeeally close to tearing up a little during Toy Story 3.)

The only movie that isn't a Joss Whedon or Pixar film is Two Brothers.

People, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? Well, it could mean that I'm softer than I or anyone else realizes or that I'm getting softer the older I get. Or that these are just great movies that have forced me to feel a lot of sympathy towards their characters and they're just great film-makers. CLEARLY, it means that JOSS WHEDON AND PIXAR ARE EVIL. They like to make me cry. They've found the secret to my tears, a secret that I don't even know about. I can picture their meetings now...

Joss: "Oh, hey Pixar. Sup?"

Pixar: "Not much? We're just working on our next movie, Cry, Jessica, Cry! It'll be a huge hit. And, as you can imagine, it will make Jessica cry."

Joss: *evil laugh* "Good work, my Evil League of Evil Brothers. What's the plot?"

Pixar: "Well, we start off with killing off a box of homeless puppies with learning disabilities. And then we show some flowers get trampled by a Nazi tank. And then we'll attach her--I mean, out audience, heh--to an adorably quirky character and then BAM. She sacrifices herself to save her loved ones from the mentally deranged yet misunderstood villain. Oh, and we're gonna throw in some tiger brothers who were separated in their early childhood, cause we know how she loves that shizz. Did you see how hard she cried at Two Brothers?!" *evil laugh*

Joss: "FTW!!"

Pixar: "What about you? What are you working on?"

Joss: "Mine is called The Cryfest. It's an epic film about man eating giraffes, and how they can't control their hunger and really just want to be loved. But the humans are killing them off, one by one with their Randy Jackson lasers. And it ends with our heroic and socially awkward giraffe having to kill the love of his life to cure the giraffes of their human hunger forever. Oh and the main giraffe-hunter is a ninja with a bad family life. They always made him eat oatmeal even though he HATED oatmeal. You know, like in that Weird Al song. Oh, and throughout the whole movie we'll be playing Rise Against's song, "Like The Angel". Cause I saw her tear up when she heard that song. Then, the world runs out of Dr Pepper due to another major oil spill. So, of course, we'll show some shots of oil-covered turtles and birds. And then we show some kids picking cocoa beans while getting whipped to a bloody death! Oh, and Sam Roth dies in the end." *evil laugh*

Pixar: "You're. A. Genius. I am literally flailing my arms in excitement right now."

*high five*

AREN'T THEY DIABOLICAL?!

JEFFY

I love how Facebook keeps popping up with all these Endgame ads. I mean, you think Facebook knows you, but no. They underestimate your obsessiveness by thinking you WON'T buy it the first day. Stupid Facebook....

2011-03-20T18:26:00.001-07:00

My family made fun of me for obsessively trying to get it to match up...

2011-03-20T17:24:00.000-07:00

So,

2011-03-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

for the next five days,

I'll be at my grandparent's house. Dad'll be working and Mom will be in NYC with Batman.

And, even though NYC is one of the Jeffy's Most Wanting-To-Go-There places, she is not mad at her mother for going without her. No, honestly. Batman's paying for her train ticket and there's no room for me in their teeny hotel room. So, I understand and have decided to just picture her going to South Dakota instead of NYC. Cause eeeeew South Dakota.

Besides, I'm going to the grandparents! I love it there!

Side-note: BuffBuffyBufyyBuffyBuffySPIKE!!

JEFFY

Today was awesome.

2011-03-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

It was bang-up.

It was capital, champion, excellent, fine, first-rate, fly, top, whiz-bang, wonderful.*

Why?

Well I think The Big Reason is because I got THIS:

And dudes and dudettes, this CD--in my completely unbiased opinion (sarcasmo)--AMAAAAAAAAAAZIIIIIIIIIIING.

And after that I got Dipstick to agree to do the Awkward Girl in Pink Dress dance with me!

And after THAT I got three books from a Borders that's closing down. By this point in the day, I had spent every paper in my wallet (well aside from the receipts and stuff that I shove in there), and for the first time I was completely over-the-moon about it. No guilt, no shame, just "WOOOOOO I GOTZ COOL THANGS." So, as you can imagine, I was doing a bit of

And after THAT I got a shrimp and crab chimichanga at a Mexican restaurant that was muchos deliciouso.

AND AFTER THAT I came home to two books on my front porch.

AND NOW we're watching Buffy which is very epic, indeed.

Also: Check out the amusingly bad music video for the bad song, Friday by Rebecca Black, to get the Girl In the Pink Dress references. It amuses me...a little too much, I think.

*Thanks to thesaurus.com for providing me with such excellent synonyms for "awesome".

JEFFY

So I went to the chiropractor and he cracked my shoulders (that had been hurting for months) but now they're all sore and aaaaahhhhhh.

2011-03-12T18:12:00.001-08:00

Writing Irks I Have

2011-03-11T19:40:00.000-08:00

I hate it when:

I find a song that fits my book really well and playlist.com isn't working.
I am writing a scene and I know it's overly dramatic but I just have to keep pushing through it cause that's what first drafts are for.
I know the basic plot of a story in my head but have absolutely no idea where it goes.
I get a good idea when I'm already writing something.

And this is in no way related to writing, but I hate illegal music downloading. Especially illegal Rise Against downloading. >.<

JEFFY

I Laughed Too Hard...

2011-03-11T13:37:00.000-08:00

Day 5

2011-03-11T11:14:00.000-08:00

Day 4: Mom's Been Nagging Me To Post This One, So...

2011-03-10T11:20:00.000-08:00

Day 3

2011-03-09T18:37:00.000-08:00

Day 2: Oh Ya Know, Jus Chillin On Da Floor.

2011-03-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

These are actually from yesterday, but I'm feeling too lazy to grab the camera I used today, sooo...

(I realize I'm a horrible photographer.)

JEFFY

Day 1

2011-03-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

So today I randomly decided to take at least a picture a day and post it. For a month. Today's:

My Birthday Weekend and My Actual Birthday and Stuff

2011-03-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

Definition of Birthday Weekend: A weekend in which your birth is greatly celebrated throughout the weekend as opposed to just one day.

So Saturday morning was perfectly normal: I slept in late, went downstairs to get some breakfast, ate, and was told, "Al helped cook breakfast so you have to do the dishes," which caused lots of Head Mumbles. Head Mumbles like, Al freaking never does her handwashing and I hate mornings and Can't we just eat on paper plates?

I am cranky when I have to do the dishes in the morning.

Then a few hours later somebody said, "Hey! It's Jessy's Birthday Weekend!"

How wrong is it that, even after I told you guys how excited I get for my birthday, I forgot about my Birthday Weekend?

So then there were no more dishes for me that weekend. Which was very nice. It was very relaxing. (Well, there was one exception where Mom's back was killing her and Al cooked dinner and Dad had to the dishes by himself, so I helped out. Partially because I don't like watching my parents do my chores and partially because I don't want a repeat of '06, in which father pushed everything off the table with a loud GREEEYAAAAH! cause I wasn't gonna clear that table on my 10th birthday.)

Then Sunday came, which meant a party at my grandma's house to be held in my honor. My aunt made me an AWESOME The Hunger Games cake:

It's got the cornucopia in the arena, the cave from book 1, some alcohol for Haymitch, break and cake for Peeta, and roses for President Snow. (And yep, no Gale. She didn't know what would best represent him, but I found it appropriate since I hate Gale.) If you have no idea what I'm talking about, FREAKING READ THE HUNGER GAMES.

Then came all of the talk about cars and driving and "DON'T TALK ABOUT HER DRIVING OR I'LL CRY," and "What do you MEAN your parents won't buy you a Mustang?!" How weird is it that I've been dyyyying to get my license and learner's permit and such, and now that's the start of that is happening in a mere six months...it's reallyreally scary?

But anyways. Let's get back to the party and not me being a total wimp. We had delicious cake and pizza, nostalgic family, super awesome presents (The complete Firefly series!!! Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World!!! A CD drive for Sam Roth!!! An old Taking Back Sunday CD!!! Money!!! The new A.S. King book!!! Two John Green books to complete my collection--INCLUDING A SIGNED COPY OF WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON!!!) and lots of Dr Pepper. It was awesome. It was beyond awesome. It was so beyond awesome that I've created a new word to describe it: bawesome. It stand for--do I even need to say what it stands for at this point.

Sitzpinkler is gonna be my new word.

Then I came home and picked out a good-looking book to read for tomorrow, my actual birthday. I--finally--settled on An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, which ended up being as much of a profound coming-of-age story as it was hilarious. (HEY LOOK I'M USING BOOK REVIEWER WORDS NOW.) Highly recommended.

And then I think we watched Buffy (!) then before I knew it tomorrow came. It was just as relaxing and lazy and uneventful and Dr Pepper-filled as I'd hoped it be. And we had a family specialty, that was and always will be eeeeeeeeeeeeppppppic.

Skizz then kidnapped me from Tuesday to...well, now, and it too was awesome. They unleashed me in a closing-down-Borders with some money (I came out with three hardcovers) and took me out for some great subs, we watched Poltergeist--the old short lady with the sunglasses is my new idol--and ate even more cake and pizza, and I got my dude-just-drive-faster-so-I-can-get-out-of-the-car look confused with hey-you-be-sexeh look, and just chilled the way chill people do.

And no, I do not feel different now that I'm fifteen. I mean, I guess now I'm trying to think more about The Future and The Big Picture and junk like that. About where I want to be in 5 years when I'm 20...frigging 20! 0.o Crap, I just freaked myself out really bad. But yeah, more thinking, I guess.

Co zah asy....

JEFFY

An EPIC BATTLE: Fences Vs. Fences

2011-02-21T07:48:00.000-08:00

LET'S DO THIS THING.

Today, we welcome to fierce competitors to the Arena of EPIC BATTLES: fences (the object), and Fences (the band).

LET'S GET READY TO TUMBLE.

Fences (the object):
Pros:
Keeps things out of your yard
Keeps things in your yard
Adds a level of classiness to your outdoor-area

Cons:
Does not fill your earlobes with sweet music goodness
Does not have good cover art
Cannot serenade you to sleep
Does not have Girls With Accents
Is nothing spectacular

Fences (the band):

Pros:
Fills your earlobes with sweet music goodness
Has good cover art
Can serenade you to sleep
Has Girls With Accents
If you blast it loud enough, it will keep people out of your yard
Adds a level of cool indie-ness to you, your house, and your outdoor area
Is something spectacular

Cons:
Does not keep things out of your house

FENCES (THE BAND) WINS!

I love this band, and think they don't get nearly enough play-time on Sirius radio and everywhere else. They're better than fences (the object). Go check 'em out.

I LIKE USING MY ANNOUNCER VOICE IN MY HEAD.

JEFFY

If Walls Could Talk...

2011-02-18T21:15:00.000-08:00

I think I know what this one would say.

It would say, "Our owner is awesome."

JEFFY

Things...

2011-02-16T20:59:00.000-08:00

And stuff.

1. "I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like 'Huh?', but if it's in a basket you're like 'Nice.'" --Demetri Martin. Oh the things you find on facebook....

2. I have found that old teen eighties movies are just modern teen contemporary novels...but on a screen. And, in Better Off Dead's case, with some paper boys thrown in. (Have you seen that movie? It's really good.)

3. Speaking of contemporary books, I've been in the mood for those lately...and, because I'm reading it and these books are always great, a The Iron Queen mood. I'm also reading nothing...no, that's the name of the book, Nothing. (I LOVE the name of that book. Mostly just cause I can walk around telling people I'm reading Nothing.) I know I don't normally talk about books here, cause I have another blog for all that, but here I go:

Nothing is about a seventh grade boy, Pierre Anton, who one day stood up in class and said, "Nothing matters. I've known that for a long time. So nothing is worth doing. I just realized that." He then proceeds to climb into a plumb tree on the school grounds and stays there every school day. Then the rest of the students--after getting bombarded with plums every day--decide to make a pile of things with meaning to try and get him out of the plum tree. It's one of those deep-thinkin' books that makes you feel high cause you think, "WOAH, MAN. THIS IS DEEP STUFF," just before you go grab Cheetos or some other munchy food. Like maybe some of those brownies your fun pot-loving uncle made earlier that have nothing to do with how you're feeling now.

4. Julius Caesar is boring so far. SOMEONE STAB HIM ALREADY. OR COMMIT SUICIDE. I DON'T CARE WHICH YOU DO, JUST GET THE BOOK MOVING.

5. My mom's computer is so much bigger than Sam Roth.

6. I got my hair dye yesterday. Will post pic of it when it's all colored and cool.

7. Should I post my newest short story here? I quite like it...

8. Skizz's tomorrow. Woot.

9. You guys ever heard of The Last Unicorn? I MUST SEE IT.

10. ....That is all.

JEFFY

My Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T20:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it started at 2 AM where a guy with a boom box had the wrong house....

(Not really, but that would've been fun.)

So, I guess the best thing about this Valentines Day was that I am FINALLY NOT DYING FROM SICKNESS. Yeah, I came down with the flu Wednesday and I'm just starting to feel better. So that's nice. Hopefully this means I can go to Skizz's before she abandons me for the next two weeks.

But aside from that bit of spectacular news, my day was predictably average. Well, I guess it wasn't all average. Al baked cupcakes, and Dad brought home frozen pizzas and Dr Perky, and I'm about to watch Dr Horrible, and--

Oh my God, this is probably the exact thing I'll be doing in 30 years when I'm a crazy, fat, solitary lady. (Crazy cat lady? Nope. Hate cats. With a passion.)

Yep, I will be stuffing myself with pizza and Dr. Something-Or-Other and thinking "Yeah, this is all I need from life. Men will just cry on me and take my dog in the divorce anyways. Well, expect Neil Patrick Harris. If only he weren't gay."

I don't think this right now, but in 30 years? ......................Yep. I can totally see that.

...Annnnyways, let's think HAPPY THOUGHTS NOW.

See! Happy! I'm not depressing!

Oh, and a Rise Against concert that I'd really wanted to go to sold out. It was a bummer. (Yeah, I guess this isn't really a "happy thought", is it?)

And yeah.

JEFFY

The First Time I Heard The F Word.

2011-02-11T14:29:00.000-08:00

Well, Mom stubbed her toe... (Kidding.)

The other day I was reminiscing about my first experience with a word I hear all the time now: the F-bomb. It's one of the few things that I remember with startling clarity...

I was in elementary school at the time. And I'd heard a lot about this "F word" thing. I had no desire to use it, but being the always-nosy me, I wanted to know what that was.

So, one day at lunch I asked this (super short) girl I knew, Peyton, to tell me what the F word was. She refused, maybe because she figured out that I don't like it when I don't know things. (My current friends know this and keep random crap from me too. What can I say? I just pick bad friends. :P)

Finally she told me she'd tell me how it was spelled. So I leaned in and she whispered, "F-X," in my ear. In hindsight, this was clever of the little brat, cause it got me to try and pronounce F-X, and it sounded remarkably similar to the actual F word, causing her to giggle for a while. But the little eight year old me was all, "Dumby, there are no vowels in that word, which makes it NOT A WORD. YOU CANNOT OUTSMART ME, FOO."

So that attempt was unsuccessful.

People refused to tell me the F word, but what would?

Television, my friends. Sweet, mid-numbing television.

It was a few days after trying to get Peyton to tell me the F word, and I had just walked in the door from school. Mom was all, "Hey! Dad and I are watching this AWESOME movie."

Then one of the characters said it.

That's right.

He said, "Frugal!*"

Mom gasped, and put her hands on my shoulders and said, "Jessica, that's a really bad word. Promise me you will never ever ever say that word." So I nodded mutely (and to this day I've still kept that promise...well, not around people at least...unless I'm singing along to songs...). But on the inside I was all, "Yessssss I win."

*This is not really what he said.

JEFFY

You Should Download These FREE Songs.

2011-02-06T12:19:00.000-08:00

The Same Tattoos--Fences

Each and Every Day--Best Coast

Between The Bars--Elliott Smith

Robots Vs Indie Queens EP--Dan Mangan

Guess What?

2011-02-06T11:47:00.000-08:00

I have just discovered gifs.

Be afraid.

Be VERY afraid.

Why?

Cause I'm gonna be using them like crazy until you're all "I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!"

But you'll be back. You'll go crazy without me. You'll scream.

And then we'll hug.

....Where was I going with this? Hmmmm...

Oh, yeah: I discovered gifs.

JEFFY

My Birthday

2011-02-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

The 15th one.

I never really had a "childhood". I was always really mature and grown up, for the most part. But in a few ways, I'm still like a little kid. You can see it in some of my little quirks: how I spazz out whenever a bug flies within five feet of me, my extreme nosiness, and how I generally dislike sharing.

Oh, and I'm not one of those people who claims that their birthday is "no big deal".

Cause my birthday is always a big deal.

I still get all jumpy when the day comes closer and closer, and am always asking "WhenamIgonnagettoopenpresents?!" at my party, and feel the need to remind my family of it's approaching date my writing things like this on our whiteboard:

Yay.

JEFFY

Homework Music!

2011-02-03T16:49:00.000-08:00

Cause homework is known for it's universal suck

I listen to tuneage when I do my homework for British Literature. It relieves some of my boredom, and it's just how I roll. So, because I ~~am kinda procrastinating doing homework this very second~~ can, I have made a playlist of songs to listen to whilst doing the dreaded homework. Enjoy.

I love playlists.

JEFFY

SUCK ON THAT, SHAKESPEARE!

2011-01-31T21:49:00.000-08:00

Also known as: Clearly, my British Literature teacher has never heard of Wikipedia, otherwise she wouldn't need to force her students to keep her informed.

Research papers.

Oooooh how I despise them. They're boring. And they make me sound boring. And I'm not boring. (...Usually...I hope. Don't give me your opinion.) Well, at least I seem to do them right.

But, combine a visual aid with said research paper to be done in five days?

UUUGH.

Well, first I was going to just draw The Globe Theatre (the topic of said paper and aid, by the way) but I was quickly reminded why I signed up for an art class that I'll be starting soon. And then I tried to do this:

It ended up overwhelming me a good deal, though I'm not entirely sure why. (And it didn't help that I had less than 12 hours to do it, if I wanted no sleep. Procrastinator? Who? ME?)

So I was just gonna hand in a crappy drawing, when inspiration struck. Er, or at least the urge to get on the computer did. And what came out of it? This:

For a 14 year old girl with no graphic design skill using Microsoft's paint application, I'm rather impressed with myself.

And now I'm just itching to turn it in, because then it will be DONE for good and I can do things without this little voice in my head constantly nagging at me with, "You shouldn't be reading. This homework needs to get done," and, "You shouldn't be playing solitaire. You have homework, remember?" and even, "Dude, why the frick are you just staring at the wall?? DO YOUR HOMEWORK YOU LAZY BUM."

My head's very mean to me.

JEFFY

How I'm Doing With My New Year's Resolutions--January

2011-01-31T01:44:00.000-08:00

Cause.

--Write an ENTIRE BOOK. Not done. I've barely found time to write at all. :/
--Read more. Check! Read 8 books this month, which is more than last year's monthly average, I think.
--Force my shoulders to not hurt all the freaking time. Semi-check. So far they haven't been bothering me too much.
--Clean my room really well and keep it that way. Check! My room is SUPA CLEAN! :D
--Make a better header for this blog. Check! And I LOVE it!
--Post more on this blog. Um, double check! XD
--Kick this ol' Facebook addiction of mine a little bit. Ummm...a little?
--Go to more concerts than I did this year. (TWO. ONLY TWO.) No plans for any yet. :/
--Be more wise with my moolah. Check! I've organized my money, and only bought two 5 dollar posters this year. That's all I've bought. Woot.
--Teach myself guitar. Um, yeah, so far this is an epic fail. I haven't even taken my borrowed guitar to get fixed yet. Sigh.

So not too bad. Huzzah!

JEFFY

Random, But:

2011-01-30T09:40:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned how much I love that Boy-Boy has discovered one of my favorite childhood cartoons, the Rugrats?

Cause I do.

Also, this woman frightens me a good amount:

JEFFY

A Note.

2011-01-27T21:51:00.000-08:00

I was bored,

I filled this out on Facebook, and figured I'd post it here too.

1 - It's been a weird day.
2 - I only eat fairly traded chocolate.
3 - I think Dr Pepper is, like, the bomb, and it will be the only drink available at my wedding.
4 - I talk a lot about my wedding plans, but I don't actually want a wedding.

5 - Rise Against is my favorite band ever.
6 - My CD collection is not organized at all. And I love it that way.

7 - I love to write but I don't think I'm very good, really. I don't think I'm bad, though.

8 - Veronica Mars is probably my favorite TV show.

9 - If my feet are cold, my everywhere is cold.

10 - I have issues with trusting people. I don't know why.

11 - I occasionally doodle. When I do, it's either mock CD covers or trees.

12 - I can beat you at Guitar Hero.

13 - Heights terrify me. My head'll spin and my stomach will begin to hurt if I get too far off the ground.

14 - My favorite movie is Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog.

15 - I'm oddly nostalgic. Especially lately.

16 - I love watching horror movies late at night. (Preferably with Skizz and Dipstick.)

17 - I am not superstitious. At all.

18 - I don't like people very much. They irk me. Some more than others.

19 - As a kid, I was obsessed with most musicals. When I was around ten, I was obsessed with the play, Wicked. Now, as a teen, my favorite movie is a musical (see 14), and my second favorite movie is too (Sweeny Todd) and I'm obsessed with them both.

20 - I've kind of grown out of acting. *shrugs*

21 - I get stressed out too easily sometimes.

22 - I am probably the most jealous person on the face of the earth. And I mean that.

23 - Lately, I've been DYING to dive into my old copy of The Catcher and The Rye I got at Goodwill. It smells like 70s.

24 - I listen to music as I fall asleep a lot.

25 - My favorite book? Yeah, I can't pick just one.

So yeah.

JEFFY

My (Rather Anti-Twilight) Thoughts on Eclipse

2011-01-25T23:02:00.000-08:00

I have weird thoughts.

This is possibly the worst movie poster ever.

So, mom's forcing me to watch Eclipse (and I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, or as a lame excuse for wanting to see this movie) , and I figured I might as well give you all some Jeffy-opinions on it. They're kind of scattered, but, they are:

--Al made a good point: It's awfully sunny there.

--Charlie is one of the few things that the movies always kept just as good...if not a little better.

--OK, so it's been like 30 minutes, and Jacob has not taken his shirt off ONCE, I mean--oh, wait, I take it back. :D

--Seth! Oh, I remember Seth. He's...small.

--Heh, Jacob's dad said "hard".

--Wait, Edward's not gonna take his shirt off, is he?? Please, no. PLEASE.

--Oh, hey, look, it's Bree. Her story kind of bored me.

--Jasper, if you keep making that face, it'll stay that way. ...Whoops, too late.

--Can we NOT zoom in on Edward's face? That was frightening.

--Edward's accent has dramatically changed since the first movie. Hmm.

--Oh, look, now Jacob's on the screen. *waits expectantly for him to rip his shirt off for no reason*

--"Understand all your options"? Is she pregnant too early or something, Jacob??

--FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT.

--*Charlie glare*

--Awwwwww, he didn't take his shirt off!!

--Emmet's voice is...weird.

--I still hate the chick they picked for Rosalie.

--Man, I forgot how ANGSTY everyone is.

--The morale of the story: Always kill your rapist fiance in your wedding dress...right? I don't even know.

--Bella blinks too much.

--Dakota Fanning rocks the outfit...in a very nun-ish way.

--HI STACEY PILGRIM.

--What kind of reputable vampires have a random party? I mean, really.

--I NEED THIS SOUNDTRACK. I DON'T CARE IF I GET MADE FUN OF.

--"But while you're here, Jacob, no one would object to you taking your shirt off."

--...Do all of these "take off your shirt, Jacob" comments make me a sexist who just sees this dude as an object?

--Why do one of the werewolf dudes look 30?

--What's wrong with Bella's teeth?

--I wish the werewolves would write their names on their faces when they're in wolf form. It'd make everything so much easier for me.

--I NEED THIS SOUNDTRACK.

--OK, fine, you're pretty cool Jasper. There. I said it. And I take back what I said about your face.

--...I wonder what Jasper would look like shirtless...

--The Edward glare isn't as good as the Charlie glare. Maybe a mustache would fix that.

--Eeeeeew. Edward with a mustache would be BAD.

--The dialogue between those three chicks sounded wrong.

--Wow, my family pauses movies a LOT.

--It's hard to believe how much I loved these books at one point. I mean, it's good that they got me reading, but looking back on it, they're kinda lame. Especially compared to amazing books like The Hunger Games.

--And my family doesn't just pause movies a lot, they also take VERY long pauses.

--I'm very snacky. It's one in the morning. I shouldn't be snacky. I'm extremely snacky.

--And the break is over!

--Dude, WHAT did I say about zooming in on Edward?

--Bella, you're a selfish brat. I hate you.

--HEY LOOK THERE ARE ABS ON MY SCREEN.

--Jacob's pushy.

--Bella is an open book. She even has a, "I want to get it on" face.

--"Gal", Charlie? Really? Minus two cool points.

--That's too many stairs. I would NOT want to use those stairs any time I have a midnight snack craving.

--I mean, not that I satisfy my cravings... *darty eyes*

--I want Edward's room SO HARD.

--Me, during the bed scene: "Can vampires get...ya know..."

--Yeah Edward, we get how it'd be done in the early 1900s, but here in the 2000s, most teenagers just get pregnant.

--That's the worst ring ever.

--Bella, you REALLY wanna marry a guy with a nipple like THAT?!

--Mom: "New Victoria has a weird nose."

--*declines to make comment about shirtless Jacob*

--Nice cheesy dramatic stance to cheesy dramatic music, Edward.

--Tent scene! I remember this! Let's see how they do...

--"Let's face it, I'm hotter than you are." This got whoops of approval.

--*Edward glare* Still, the glare could be improved.

--Edward just referred to Bella as, "my reason for existing". *rolls eyes*

--OK, so the tent scene could've been worse.

--You know what I never got? How Bella made a big deal about the age difference between her and Jacob, but never the 100 years between her and Edward.

--Why do their skulls sound like breaking glass when being punched??

--OH SNAP YOU GOT ATE.

--Something we didn't know about Alice: she was in the Matrix.

--W00T FOR DECAPITATION.

--You know, in the middle of this "intense" scene, all I can think is, "Bella must be freezing."

--Woah. Victoria should NOT make those grunts. EVER. THEY'RE FRIGHTENING ME.

--Did this whole thing happen in the book? I can't remember.

--*after Edward rips the bottom of Bella's shirt for her wound* "Thank GOD he didn't take his own shirt off."

--*Jasper glare* Now THAT'S a glare. Edward should take lessons from him.

--This love triangle? It's completely whack. YEAH, I SAID IT.

--I thought that the whole point of going to the meadow was because Edward sparkles there?

...When did I become so obsessed with Jacob's abs?? Mom blames the hormones. I blame the abs for being the best actor in the whole freaking movie. Not my fault.

Mom seriously just compared me to Bella. :O

JEFFY

Slight Dilemma

2011-01-25T13:13:00.000-08:00

I'm watching this movie. It is unrelated to the post.

Cause reading about ME is your favorite thing ever, right?

I am not one to talk about hair often--and by often I mean at all, as brushing it daily is a pretty new thing for me--but you know how my hair had this awesome hot pink streak in the front? Sure you do. Well I let it fade in the summer, cause of stupid pool chemicals and such.

Well now it is January, and I haven't re-dyed it, and I'm beginning to get reallyreallyreally sick of the blond that my wonderful, vibrant hot pink has been reduced to. (I'm a brunette, but I had to bleach my hair to get the color to stay in, so, there's the straw-colored blond. Seriously. If I wasn't so sick of Wizard of Oz reference from a play, this is where I'd saw that I look like I should be singing If I Only Had A Brain.)

But now I have no idea what to do with it. I mean, it's supposed to be super bad for you, so, with the healthy eating we've been doing, would that just make me the biggest hypocrite on the face of the planet? (Actually, I have Dr Pepper in the house RIGHT NOW.) And then there's this other side of the argument, being that I love my dyed streak. I love getting compliments on it, I love standing out, and I love playing with it when I'm bored. (TWHS.)

Sooo I don't know what I'm gonna do with it yet. If I do decide to dye it, then I don't think I'm gonna dye it pink again. I think that ship has sailed. I'm thinking I might wanna do a cool blue or teal, instead. Or maybe green. Something like that. And if I don't decide to dye it again, I might just chop it off, cause it doesn't look very good and it feels half as straw-ish as it looks. Which is VERY. I mean, look:

You can't deny that this looks like it should be under some animal's @$$ in a barn.

If you have an opinion on this matter, speak it, as long as you know that I have the right to completely ignore it.

JEFFY.

In Which I Attempt to Make You Laugh with Pictures

2011-01-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

JEFFY

Kobo Time!

2011-01-16T18:15:00.000-08:00

It's like Party Time, but you read instead of party, so it's like 20x better.

Because of a sale going on right now, I got my birthday present a month early. What present? A Kobo ereader, baby.

(This is where I was going to put the picture of me with the Kobo looking all excited, but Blogger's rejecting my face.)

I was firmly anti-ereader for a long time. If it wasn't paper, it wasn't worth it. So what changed my mind? Seeing how much it's loved helped, but mostly because I have all of these ebooks that I get to review on my book blog and reading on the computer SUCKS MAJOR TURDS. So, ereaders are now my friend. And the Kobo is really light. And pretty And black. (Heh, apparently the salesman dude thought a girl wanting a black ereader instead of a lavender one was completely shocking. I just don't do lavender. SEXIST MAN.)

It says it's charged! *ditches computer*

JEFFY

March 15, People. MARCH 15.

2011-01-12T20:11:00.000-08:00

My new favorite day. EVER.

Why? RISE AGAINST'S NEW CD COMES OUT. YOU SHOULD GO READ ABOUT IT AND THEN GO TO THEIR WEBSITE TO SEE THE COVER ART AND CHECK OUT A FEW SECONDS OF AWESOME.

I'm excited.

JEFFY

Thought of The Day

2011-01-10T10:46:00.000-08:00

...Not that this is the only thing I thought of/will think of today.

I wonder if people ever think, "Hmm...I wonder if this will end up on her blog," when they talk to me.

That is all.

JEFFY

For Your Listening Pleasure.

2011-01-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

You can thank me with presents.

Note: I don't pay attention to language, so I listen to a lot of music with it. This may or may not be some of it. (I can't even remember which ones do and don't anymore...)

Another note: My tastes are eclectic. These songs aren't very similar. At all.

Catacomb by At The Drive-In

E-Pro by Beck

They're Coming To Take Me Away by Napoleon XIV

We Used To Wait by Arcade Fire

I'll leave it at that for now. Cause four's a good number.

(I actually think the number 4 kinda sucks. But whatever.)

JEFFY

So...This Raw Food Diet...

2011-01-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

So we started our (mostly) raw food diet back up again.

I'm actually kinda psyched about it. I'm so sick of putting all of this processed crap into my body. It's only been a few days, but I already feel like I have way more energy (making me REALLY crave a concert to jump around and crap like that) and I just feel better.

There is, of course, another side to this. And it's selfish and weak of me, but here it is:

I LIKE MY CRAPPEH FOOOOD! DORITOS! DR PEPPER! PIZZA! WANT! NOM NOM NOM!

But mostly I am likin' the raw food stuff.

...That is all.

JEFFY

Problem

2011-01-03T16:34:00.000-08:00

I haz one.

As of tomorrow, my winter break from my brit lit class ends (much to my dismay). You see, I feel one of the big problem with this, is that I'm thinking about this book:

when I'm supposed to be thinking about this book:

I guess as far as problems go, though, I suspect this is a good one to have. Because Looking For Alaska completely pwns A Tale Of Two Cities...sorry Sydney Carton. You still rock Sydney, but you're one of the few things in the book that do.

JEFFY

The 2010 JEFFY Awards!

2011-01-02T09:36:00.000-08:00

Cause I'm sick.

And not in the cool way. The whole family started our year off with a killer cold. It is NOT FUN, but on the bright side, it made me decide to actually do this thing, so that's nice.

Basically, the JEFFY awards go to my favorite things of 2010. This doesn't necessarily mean it was first released in 2010, but I discovered it in 2010. In the case of the awards, JEFFY stands for:

Just an

Excellent

Freaking

Fracking

Year

...I might change what it stands for later...But for now, that's it.

So picture this as an actual awards show, but a COOL one. One that doesn't have any performances from lame people, only AWESOME ones like Sex Bob-om and Local Natives and the cast of Dr Horrible and stuff like that. It is hosted by Neil Patrick Harris and he's dressed as Dr Horrible because IT'S MY AWARDS SHOW DARNITT.

*awkward throat clear cough* ANYWAYS. Let's get started.

Best TV show in 2010 nominees:

Firefly

Veronica Mars

Raising Hope

Winner: Veronica Mars--I LOVE this show. It's funny and over-dramatic and full of twists and bad boys and good boys and all kinds of crap like that. But, really, all three of the above shows are my favorites. And I don't feel like I'm betraying my main man Joss Whedon by not picking Firefly. Why? Because he made a cameo in Veronica Mars, so clearly he too loves it. Look:

PROOF! HA!

Best Youtube video:

DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY

The Cloak

Mr. Tran and the Toy Cack

Those Dudes Who Jump Around In Their Underwear

Winner: Mr. Tran and the Toy Cack--Seriously, just hearing somebody quote this can make me automatically happier.

Best movie:

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Serenity

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

Winner: Dr. Horrible!--When I said Dr. Horrible was freaking hosting this thing, you had to have seen this coming, right? This is my favorite movie EVER, and Scott Pilgrim and Serenity are too...but Dr. Horrible's my FAVORITE FAVORITE.

Best new thing discovered in 2010:

AltNation on Sirius radio

Amazon has FREE MUSIC

Pandora

Hans Von Hozel's Fanfiction

Winner: TIE!--AltNation has introduced me to a whole new genre and a TON of awesome music. Free music rocks my world so hard forever. And if it's not free I just go and listen to it on Pandora, along with similar songs and artists. And reading Hans, I literally ROFL.

Best Newly Discovered Band/Singer-Songwriter:

Local Natives

Mumford and Sons

Elliott Smith

The Black Keys

Carter Hulsey

WTF is with "taking the cake"?

Winner: Mumford and Sons!--I lovelovelove all of these bands/songwriters, but Mumford and Sons takes the cake this year. (Which, by the way, is a horrible expression. Why are they taking my cake? Are they stealing it? Or am I giving it to them? How'd I get a cake? Why can't I keep it? Is it a bad cake that I don't like?)

Best Song:

Black Sheep--Metric

Na Na Na--My Chemical Romance

The Cave--Mumford and Sons

Airplanes--Local Natives

Islands--The XX

You Wouldn't Have To Ask--Bad Books

Unspoken--Weezer

Rite of Spring--Angels&Airwaves

Baaaah.

Winner: Black Sheep!--This was a really close one, but Black Sheep is a fantastic song. And it's the song that brings The Clash at Demonhead to life. And the Scott Pilgrim Soundtrack is a.m.a.z.i.n.g.

Best Concert of the Year:

Skillet

Papa Roach

Never Shout Never

Winner: YET ANOTHER TIE!--I saw Skillet and Papa Roach on the same day, and man that was an AWESOME day. I hung out with some of my best friends all day. I saw my dude pretty-much-cousin in full makeup. I pushed my way through the crowds like an expert. I told a cop that I was freaking getting through there (OK, maybe not those exact words). I seriously considered knocking a guy's hat off of his head. I ate chili. It was a blast. ...But Never Shout Never put on a fantastic show, and I got way more into the actual live show than the atmosphere and overall day. And I cut loose in a way I hadn't in a long time, and danced like the 1000 people in the venue weren't watching. And I discovered Carter Hulsey and I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business, who along with The Maine, also put on an amazing show. So, yeah. Tie.

Best Sequel:

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

Linger by Maggie Stiefvater

Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick

The Lost Saint by Bree Despain

Winner: Mockingjay...and Linger!--These are two of my very favorite series ever. I also love Crescendo and The Lost Saint...but they're no Mockingjay or Linger.

Best Book:

NO. I'M NOT DOING THIS. THERE'S TOO FRICKING MANY. Just go here for my top twenty.

Best Purchase:

Local Natives CD for 3 bucks

Looking for Alaska for 2 bucks

New phone for 20 bucks

Sam Roth, my netbook for 200 bucks (including insurance)

Winner: Sam Roth!--While the other three are both huge freaking steals, Sam Roth is the best investment I've ever made.

And, with that, Neil Patrick Harris flies away while singing Slipping.

TA DA.

JEFFY

2011 New Years Resolutions

2010-12-22T19:09:00.000-08:00

THEY WILL ALL GET DONE.

(Yeah, the picture's completely unrelated.)

--Write an ENTIRE BOOK.
--Read more.
--Force my shoulders to not hurt all the freaking time.
--Clean my room really well and keep it that way.
--Make a better header for this blog.
--Post more on this blog.
--Kick this ol' Facebook addiction of mine a little bit.
--Go to more concerts than I did this year. (TWO. ONLY TWO.)
--Be more wise with my moolah.
--Teach myself guitar.

...OK, well, I'd at least like to do ONE of these. Close enough.

JEFFY

My Year. In Statuses.

2010-12-12T12:59:00.000-08:00

^Self explanatory title.

So Facebook has this thingy where you can make a collage of all of your statuses. I did it, and BASK IN MY RANDOM MINI-SPURTS OF GENIUS:

(Click on it. It makes it bigger.)

So...yeah.

If You Don't Care About My Writing Stuff, Don't Read This.

2010-11-16T19:53:00.000-08:00

Because you'll fall asleep until you see the word zombie in all caps to make sure you're paying attention...then you'll go back to sleep.

So I'm pretty sure I told ya'll (yes, I say ya'll now) about this thing I'm doing that no one's ever heard of called NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) that I'm doing this month. (Actually, I probably shouldn't be writing this right now...)

Well, it's kicking my butt, when I actually have the time to give it the chance. What I mean is that I have no time. Basically, everyday, I:

Get up early

Go out to classes and/or the siblings classes

Come home and clean in preparation for Skizz and her lil' bros to come over for two weeks

Do homework for classes

Watch Veronica Mars or some other show with my family

Check on my email and Facebook

Then write for about 5 minutes

I'm not even blogging or reading, which is killing me slowly.

So I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to win Nano (meaning I won't be able to write 50,000 words in one month) but honestly I don't care. Because I've learned a few things about myself and why I've never finished a book through this whole thing. They are (yes, I'm in a list-making mood):

1: I hate writing first drafts. I hate writing crap, even though I know I'll eventually go back and make it all shiny and nice, it KILLS ME. It makes me so frustrated that I want to just be done with it. I really need to work on not getting too worked up and making myself push through it.

2. I have to outline. Not in the roman numeral super-structured way, but in kinda my own way. I'll summarize each chapter as much as I feel necessary in a way I can work with. For instance, I'm pretty sure I had one chapter outline: NICK KICKS ZOMBIE BUTT!!!!!!! or something like that. But this way, I know exactly where the story's going at all times, preventing me from flipping out cause I'm stuck and adding horrible plot lines and even unnecessary characters.

3. No matter what the story is, my characters each have a huge love for music. I can't help it. I love writing about music, making band references, and especially writing about concerts.

...And there might've been one more, but I don't remember it.

So, yeah.

JEFFY

ICE CREAM TIME

2010-10-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

Because Dr. Pepper, in ANY form is amazing.

This weekend, me and the siblings went over to our aunt's house for some horrible-for-you/delicious food, good times, and a trip to an amusement park, King's Dominion. Despite the unbelievably long lines and Boy-Boy being scared half to death by man-eating clowns, we had a blast. (DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS DR. PEPPER ICE CREAM TOPPING AND DR. PEPPER JELLY BEANS?!?!?!?) And Thursday and Friday were awesome as well, of course.

Then we met our parents at out grandparents house to properly celebrate Father's birthday. Food and football and anecdotes were shared and a good time was had by all.

As we were speaking about things, two certain things were shared that stood out in my mind: The dishwasher is broken. Jessica, we think you're ready to go to community college right now.

My thoughts on the dishwasher incident: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THIS ISN'T COOL, MAN.

My thoughts on the community college thing: Sure. I'm not going right now cause I've got a Brit Lit class, which I'm pretty sure is what made my parents decide that I was ready for community college. I've gotten 100 (and one 110) on all my (super easy) quizzes, studied and done my homework without being asked, and not died in the process. So next Fall I guess I'll be enrolling, which is kinda insane to me. I've got no idea what classes I'll be taking. Possibly math, since I know I need it (but I completely despise it). Or maybe something I'll enjoy more...not sure. But I think it's pretty cool.

And on the way there, I thought of my book for NaNoWriMo. It is a humorous novel about a teenage zombie hunter. You're welcome.

Oh no. I've just twisted my ankle the wrong way. I can no longer hand wash the dishes.

JEFFY

Edit: I was just told that we have no ice cream. And we left the Dr. Pepper topping at grandma's. D:

Fragments!

2010-09-28T13:39:00.000-07:00

Woot!

Beach. Still. Fun. Yay!

Monopoly. Lost. Horribly.

Shopped. Sigh. Rain. Exercise. Sigh.

Seagulls. Evil eye. Growl.

Lady. Old. Creepy. Wouldn't leave us alone. o.0

Bacon. Bacon. Chicken. Pizza. DR. THUNDER!!!

End.

JEFFY

Fingernails Are Just. Plain. Sucky.

2010-09-26T16:53:00.000-07:00

Da beach!

So I thought about posting a Facebook status saying things at the beach, where I'm staying this week, have been, but it seemed more blog-post-worthy. Soooooooooooo.....

Yesterday was full of driving. Lots of driving that required lots of stretching when it was done. Then we (Skizz's family and my siblings, though my aunt and mom are here too) went in the ocean, then the pool (we're like aqua-people) then fooding and Yahtzee-less Yahtzee. It pretty much rocked.

First of all, this morning? It sucked. Somebody pulled the fire alarm and apparently the security guy at the front desk took off when he heard it cause when we called him he didn't pick up. So we had to evacuate, at 8. You guys know that I DON'T do 8, especially when I didn't sleep well cause no one seemed to think it was necessary to tell me where the blankets are. So, we evacuated. Down 9 flights of stairs. At 8. It took the firemen as long as it would've taken us to die if the building was burning down to come and then tell us it was OK. And bu then there was no use even trying to get back to sleep.

But then the day was good. Saw sand sculptures, vendors (that I didn't really care about but I had fun hanging with everyone who did/didn't), a seriously quick therapeutic dip in our outdoor pool, got a blooming onion, then said bye to the Skizz&Co. Now we're sitting around, me on the computer, everyone else watching Enchanted (which when I first saw was led to believe was a parody of a princess movie, but it ISN'T. SO.) awaiting tomorrow's (fire alarm-less) adventures.

Maybe I'll blog more about this week. But I know you've heard THAT ONE before.

JEFFY

The French Revolution Needs To Be More Interesting

2010-09-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

I concur with the above statement.

OK, so, yeah rebellion, revolution, it's surprisingly boring to read about.

But studying almost anything can be boring, I guess.

Insufficent Fuzzy Socks And Other Random Things

2010-09-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

You're welcome.

Don't I always whine about my feet being cold? Well, they are again, in spite of the fuzzy socks on my feet. Why? Because the right sock has a hole around the big toe are, and these socks are just WAY TOO THIN.

And tomorrow I have a skit thing, and I'll be a judge, and I'll do my thang, even with this undeniably monstrous zit on my face. (No, I wear pajamas in public and despise makeup and wear Goodwill clothes when I'm not wearing pajamas, but I don't like zits. At all.)

So, you know that guy Fred whose videos used to be funny then he got mainstream and killed it and then got a little bit better but it made us all realize that that next "Fred's Christmas"(or whatever that one was called) or "Fred Goes Swimming" wasn't coming? Well, he's got a Nick tv movie coming. And even though I swore off Fred a long time ago, I am SO FRIGGIN EXCITED for it. Every time the preview comes on I can't help but laugh. So, there, I admitted it.

And now I'm going to use the toilet then retire to my bedroom for the evening.

JEFFY

Bring Me Summer Back, Jerks

2010-09-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

Cause I like it better than...well, not Summer.

Since I'm an unschooler, you'd think that Summer is just doing what I always do, but hotter and with a pool.

Well, you'd be wrong. SO WRONG.

During Summer, I read constantly. And write. And blog. And swim. And watch addictive shows. And do other things and be carefree and go on vacations and whenever anyone says "Summer's almost over..." I yell, "LALALALALALALALALALA" So I'm in shock that it's actually over.

Now it's officially the first week of "school". I had my first Brit Lit class today, tomorrow's my teen drama class (and Al and Jack's drama after that), then more Brit Lit and maybe science, then probably homework or something else that doesn't include me reading Mockingjay. Because I'm reading it now and it's ALL I wanna do but I CAN'T cause of this incredibly stupid thing called "life" and "learning" and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, I know, people have to work and go to school and do much worse crap. I get that. Just let me whine.

And Skizz's family wants me to come over and watch Veronica Mars with them because we only have 7 episodes left. But they have no drinkable water...BUT VERONICA WILL QUENCH MY THIRST, SO WATER'S UNNECESSARY.

And on top of all this I just wanna curl up in a ball and sleep for two days...or drink more Dr Pepper. Whichever. I'm not picky.

Oh, and on another note, Scott Pilgrim (the books, I haven't seen the movie yet) ROCKS. Seriously.

Anyways, apologies for the weird post. I think I need to read my lines a few more times, then print out my short story for writing club, then MOCKINGJAY.

And...right.

JEFFY

My Thoughts on Inception

2010-08-27T17:25:00.000-07:00

What some may call a review. Those people are wrong.

Very beginning: Ummmm....what the frick?

When we first see Arthur: Hey, is that Heath Ledger? He's dead. But it looks like him!

First dream thingy: So...wait, what?

Still thinking about Arthur: No, I doubt it's Heath Ledger. OK, now let's focus on what the eff is going on in this movie.

First mention of inception: Oooooh sounds cool.

Few minutes after the first mention of inception: Holy crap, what if someone has done that to me?

Cobbs visiting his dad: BATMAN'S BUTLER! Well that makes sense since this director also directed The Dark Knight, which I didn't like. Does that mean I won't like this? I hope not, it has potential.

First time we see Chick, the architect (no I never learned her name): Ellen Page! Now I know I'll like this movie!

5 seconds after we see Chick: I should rewatch Juno soon, I love that movie.

When we finally get told some answers: Finally, we're being told some answers!

When Chick and Cobbs are in the dream and stuff is blowing up: Dang these special effects rock! It's be weird to just watch stuff blow up like that....I wouldn't be able to sit still, probably, but then again I'm a spazz. Juno probably isn't a spazz. But then again all the cool people are spazzes, and Ellen's cool...Oh now they're out of the dream.

When they go back into a dream: Holy eff Juno's good at that!

When the projections get Juno: Are Cobb's projections zombies? Is Cobbs a zombie? Didn't he call that chick his wife earlier? QUESTIONS.

When Juno flips out and runs off: NOOOOOOOOOO come back Juno!

And then things begin to get spoilery and I kinda forget some of the details, so here's what I remember:

When Accent Guy comes in: Oooooooooh, he has a cool accent! I shall call him Accent Guy. I think every movie should have an Accent Guy.

When they're starting the inception: Holy crap, I'm actually following and understanding this! And it's GOOD. Yay. I wonder if Al's following it....

When the Bang-Bangs make their first appearance: Those guys have guns! I want guys with guns guarding my mind! I shall call them Bang-Bangs.

When Bang-Bangs shot Asian guy: No biggie.

After Cobb explains that it IS a biggie: STUPID COBB. Cobb is a weird name. It makes me think of corn. On the cobb. Not canned.

When they're further into the inception: OK, now I'm kinda confused. And I kinda have to pee....

When they're even further into the inception: OK, WHAT? Now I'm definitely confused. And I definitely need to pee.

When they're almost finished with the inception: OK, I get it now. Go me! And I REALLY need to pee.

Two minutes before the very end: That man has a very wrinkly face. Sucks to be him. Should I know who he is? It seems like I should. OK, well, who is he? Crap. Now I'm confused again. NEED. RESTROOM.

The very end: SERIOUSLY? YOU COULDN'T HAVE WAITED FIVE SECONDS TO END IT? NOW WE'LL NEVER KNOW!...But, on second though, I've really needed to go for a while now, so oh well.

So yeah. I liked it. I think I'll like it more when I watch it again.

JEFFY

Love Letter To A Netbook I've Yet To Receive

2010-08-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

My dearest netbook,

Although we haven't yet met due to the incompetence of a certain website that disgusts me with their lousy 5 day shipping. Well, they claim that it's five day shipping, but I'm beginning to think that it's a scam and that they never really had you in the first place and now I'm completely broke for no reason. Anyways, I'm getting off track.

I need you. I need you in that "OMG IF IT DOESN'T COME TODAY I'M GOING TO RIP MY HAIR OUT" way. Of course, I've needed you like this since the second I ordered you, so I have no more hair left. Dd you know that I have already named you? Your name is Sam Roth, named after the amazing Sam Roth from The Wolves of Mercy Falls series. This way my literary boyfriend and my electronic boyfriend are the same and I don't feel like a slu--slug. I was totally gonna say slug. (Apparently a slug is a girl who has many boyfriends.)

Did you know that I haven't written since I ordered you? I was going to wait for you. Because it would have just been so convenient and simple, Sam...but you're taking FOREVER. (Which is the upcoming book in the Wolves of Mercy Falls series. ((I'm like an ad!) I may have to write tonight....I'm sorry, but I can't wait too long.

The point is that you need to get here. Like, NOW please.

Love,
Your future human girlfriend/master.

P.S. GET HERE.
P.S.S. You should also know that I'm impatient.
P.S.S.S And bring some Dr. Pepper when you get here.

(That's right, I got me a netbook! But it hasn't come yet. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)

JEFFY

In Which I Defiantly Tell You To Spell Definitely Right

2010-08-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Cause apparently you need a good scolding about this subject.

It took me a long time to learn how to spell definitely. But I would spell check it, and eventually it got drilled into my head so that it's one of those words that I just sort of know.

Guess what? It ISN'T spelled defiantly. Sound it out. That's a completely different word. Look, dictionary agrees:

definitely /d'efɪnɪtli/

Synonyms:
adverb: certainly, decidedly, positively, surely, absolutely

You use definitely to emphasize that something is the case, or to emphasize the strength of your intention or opinion. Adverb ADV before v ADV with cl/group emphasis
Synonym certainly

My example:
I definitely think that people who spell definitely wrong by spelling it defiantly are morons.

Other examples:
I'm definitely going to get in touch with these people.
Something should definitely be done about that.
`I think the earlier ones are a lot better.'—`Mm, definitely.'
If something has been definitely decided, the decision will not be changed.

defiant /dɪf'aɪənt/
If you say that someone is defiant, you mean they show aggression or independence by refusing to obey someone. Adjective

My Example: She raised her sword with a defiant smirk, then plunged it into his heart. All because he kept typing defiantly instead of definitely.

Other examples:
The players are in defiant mood as they prepare for tomorrow's game.
Despite the risk of suspension, he remained defiant.
They defiantly rejected any talk of a compromise.

I'll give you a trick to remember how to spell definitely right: def-in-itely
Def=deaf
in=interesting
itely=Italy. There. Deaf interesting Italy. The perfect mnemonic device. Now you have NO EXCUSE. EVER.

You're welcome.

JEFFY

Random Update!

2010-07-18T23:07:00.000-07:00

She sings as she moves her fingers around in a fifties-like fashion.

You guys, (you know, all two of you) probably know by now that I enjoy making lists way too much to be socially acceptable, right? It's time for one of those again. One about what's happenin'.

1. My neck's been all sore for a while now and I DON'T LIKE IT. IT MAKES ME GROWL. GRR.

2. I have no moolah.

3. I am incredibly bored right now. Hence this list.

4. Have you ever seen Veronica Mars? I'm at Skizz's house, where they usually are in the middle of some canceled cult TV show, like Buffy or Gilmore Girls. All that. This month's is Veronica Mars, and it's like a soap opera, but it only comes on once a week, so father, who apparently cannot stand actual soaps, can't say anything. YAY.

5. Trying to write something possibly resembling something as that of a song-like thing, but the only phrase I can come up with is "Imma poop in your face." Which, according to Skizz, is too grody. Maybe "Imma eat your face"? The classic "Imma kick your butt" is out, since it's a classic, and I need something FRESH.

6. THERE ARE NEW EPISODES OF BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD COMING OUT. (No, I do not care that you think they are the stupidest thing since the boomerang grenade, it's one of my biggest addictions, SO JUST LET ME HAVE IT. PLEASE.)

7. I KEEP USING ALL CAPS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

8. I think everyone agrees that mosquitoes need to fall off the face of the earth and be replaced by a bug that is pretty much the same, except that it doesn't take my blood and leave behind an itching that can only be forgotten by scratching.

9. *dances and sings* I get to see Maggie Stiefavter, I get to see Maggie Stiefvater.

10. Um, it's 2:30....

JEFFY

New Book Teaser

2010-07-08T18:19:00.000-07:00

Because you wanna know what the heck the last one was all about.

...Well I can't tell you that, really. I'll just give you another (short) teaser.

""You seriously expected me to die and not follow you around?""

Still have more questions and no answers? Yep. I know you do.

I feel like the writers of Lost!

JEFFY

Reasons My Lil' Bro Rocks

2010-07-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

I could also do "Reasons My Lil' Bro Sometimes Infuriates Me" but since it IS his birthday....

1. His taste in music. His favorite band is Metallica, and his second favorite is Rage Against The Machine, and he keeps nagging me to put Bohemian Rhapsody on his MP3 player. This proves two things. 1) I will be taking him to some awesome concerts in the future, and B) I am an excellent influence on my siblings. Oh, and 3) I HAVE THE COOLEST 6 YEAR OLD BROTHER EVER.

2. He has promised me that he will not wear skinny jeans. AND HE BETTER KEEP THAT PROMISE.

3. He is the only kid in my family who has kept the last name of Fartface on Facebook.

4. We have the same friends. He is always saying that he's marrying Skizz (he also calls her The All-Knowing Skizz. I blame myself for that one), and he's awesome friends with Jal, and Skizz's brothers (10 and 12). Oh, and his best friends in drama are 13 and 15. And none of them are all like "Ew, youngin'. Get away." That's one of the many benefits of being homeschooled.

5. We have the same favorite movie. Which is the flipping amazing Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. His second favorite? The newly released Alice In Wonderland.

6. He's creative. He's always making stuff. Maybe I'll post some pictures some time, because some of the stuff he does is actually really cool. He wants to be an artist. (I am going to be showing him lots of Andy Warhol, my man. ((Even though he's gay...and dead....)

7. He talks like a mini-adult sometimes. It's awesome.

8. He's one-track-minded. Normally, this would be a bad thing, but it reminds me of me. And who doesn't love to be reminded of me? (It's rhetorical. Don't answer it.)

9. I call him Boy-Boy, and Bud, and Pedro, and HE RESPONDS TO ALL OF THEM.

10. He loves Chuck Norris.

Happy birthday Boy-Boy! It is so hard to believe you're six....

Music

2010-07-05T15:29:00.000-07:00

...Otherwise known as, "America's lack of a decent taste for music."

I have been called a music snob. I am here to tell you that I am not.

What I am is one of the few fourteen year-old American girls who can not listen to someone who cannot sing, croak about clubs and guys and ticking and tocking. I like music that makes me think, or act, or feel.

Love songs? Sure, I like those. Not the Taylor Swift "OMG guys are wonderful, and love is wonderful, and I wear bleachers, and Romeo and Juliet didn't die, and I cannot sing for the life of me but I'm gonna keep singing cause if you wish hard enough, all your dreams will come true!" or Justin Beiber "I pretend to like girls." C.R.A.P. No, I'm talking about GOOD love songs, like this one:

Or this one:

Songs that are well-written, beautiful, and sung well.

You know what else I cannot stand about most popular music? They have no message. They are just "singing" words to hear themselves "sing". They don't care about anything but money, sex, and drugs. I want songs that are angry about the world's injustice's, about the government, about how we're destroying our planet.

Like this one about the war:

Or this one that's not about the government, but still has a message (Contains language, in case you care about that kind of stuff):

I don't want whiny under aged girls singing about partying or their boyfriends. I don't even like parties, and I've never had a boyfriend.

Oh, and by the way, let's talk about that for a sec. All of these chicks are croaking, OK, "singing" about letting boys do stuff to their junk and I don't know what else, but has anyone stopped and thought "MY CHILDREN ARE LISTENING TO THIS?!"

Doesn't this just sound like a fantastic example for teens-- their biggest fans, if I do say so myself. Girls who wear nothing, care about no one but themselves and what guys think of them.

And people call my music "devil's music"? Um, no. I think people are backwards.

OH, and you know what else I hate about today's music? NOBODY WRITES THEIR OWN SONGS. They pay someone to write something that doesn't even sound good, but has a "catchy" beat, when they're supposed to be writing stuff that they believe in and comes from the heart. I mean, isn't that what music is? Or, what it's supposed to be, I guess would be more accurate.

You know, I don't really like country or rap (unless it's live; I could listen to just about anything live) but I have so much respect for any artist that writes their own songs, even if I don't really like their songs. Because that it music. It comes from you sooooooooul.

But, then again, chart-topping artists have no souls, so....

Readers, I recently had a thought that good music was dying. But I quickly realized that I was dead wrong. Because I know I'm not the only one that feels this way, there are others just as passionate about it as I am, and they--we will not let good music die. There are soooo many fantastic new bands and artists out there, so I'm not too worried.

And that is why I groan and mumble at the horrible music they play at parties. Not because I'm a snob.

Så fastnar det i din juice låda och suga den.

P.S. Sorry if I offended you...well, kinda. It's my blog and my opinion.

JEFFY

A Letter From Captain Hammer About Moving Stuff

2010-06-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Jeffy,

My name is Captain Hammer. I would say, "You may have heard of me." but we both know that you have heard of me, so I won't say that. Instead I'll show you a very large and wonderfull (wait, did I spell that rite?) picture of me to refresh your memory.

Wow, I look good.

If you're wondering why THE Captain Hammer is emailing you, a lesser being, well I am writing to tell you a story.

A very, very, sad story about a very, very bad day in which something was MOVED WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING ME.

You see Jeffy, my serious long term girlfriend Penny had come over, and she moved my shirt from where I usually place it as I was in the shower washing my abs of kindness. And she picked a bad day to do it, since today was the day a statue of me (Best. Statue. EVER.) was being revealed by the mayor himself. So, naturally, I needed to be wearing my best clothes. Yes, I only have the same exact shirt, but that was my FAVORITE shirt and I needed it today.

So, when I step out of the shower and see that my shirt is missing, I kept my cool....

Can I tell you a secret and have you not publish it? OK, I'll take that as a yes.

I cried a little. This long-term-girlfriend stuff was freaking me out. She was moving my stuff! And if I called her to ask her where she moved it then I'd sound desperate. And Captain Hammer is many things, but he's NOT desperate.

So, naturally I looked through my drawers, my weights...wait, I don't have weights. Weird....Oh. Right. Searching. Yeah, I looked all over my apartment. It was GONE.

So I finally called Penny (very cooly, very naturally) and asked where she'd put my shirt. She said that she'd brought it down to the laundromat to wash because it was looking a little "dirty."

Woman. I will never understand them.

So I had to go down to the laundromat and get my shirt myself only to discover that my girlfriend was hanging out with my arch-nemesis.

This whole ordeal left me very flustered, so I decided to publicly humiliate Penny at the statue-mayor...thing. I forget what it's called. But anyways, she was definitely humiliated.

The rest of the day...not good.

So, anyways, there's my story. It really threw off the rest of my day. It's a real problem and needs to be bashed away.

xoxo,
Captain Hammer

Jeffy: Umm....huh....

The Delicate Genius

It's Time To Meme It Up In Here

What.

Facebook Timeline and Sanity Cannot Coexist

Laaast Christmas, I gave you my gallbladder.

GUESS WHAT?

Thirty Thousand.

My brain since yesterday:

It's So Cold In The D.

It Has Been Four Days Since I've Last Had Cheese

In Which I Continue To Ramble About Writing And Nano and You Continue Not To Care

Nanowrimo Update

True story.

Why do I always think the short stories I'm working on suck?

In Which I Am A Fear-Conquering Mucka Lucka

My Christmas Wish List

What is wrong with old people?

Bye.

I love it when my family is spontaneous.

This Summer/I Am Difficult

Reading and Harry Potter and Voldemort and Stuff.

Happyhappy.

The Great Fly Battle of Last Night.

*Insert Relevant Title Here*

One of my favorite SNL skits. Ever.

This commerical is still awesome.

I'm miles from where you are,

This Started As A Facebook Status.

What My Facebook Friends Think of Me.

HAHAHA TOLD YA SO.

The Rapture is Upon Us?

Maybe I'll post tomorrow but right now I'm unable to cause OMG SO TIRED.

While My Internet Is Working I Shall Blog.

I showed that roller coaster who's boss.

Homework's about as much fun as dead puppies.

An Update on Life and Other Stuff (Very Random and Lame)

Story of my Life:

Joss Whedon and Pixar are Evil

I love how Facebook keeps popping up with all these Endgame ads. I mean, you think Facebook knows you, but no. They underestimate your obsessiveness by thinking you WON'T buy it the first day. Stupid Facebook....

My family made fun of me for obsessively trying to get it to match up...

So,

Today was awesome.

So I went to the chiropractor and he cracked my shoulders (that had been hurting for months) but now they're all sore and aaaaahhhhhh.

Writing Irks I Have

I Laughed Too Hard...

Day 5

Day 4: Mom's Been Nagging Me To Post This One, So...

Day 3

Day 2: Oh Ya Know, Jus Chillin On Da Floor.

Day 1

My Birthday Weekend and My Actual Birthday and Stuff

An EPIC BATTLE: Fences Vs. Fences

If Walls Could Talk...

Things...

My Valentine's Day

The First Time I Heard The F Word.

You Should Download These FREE Songs.

Guess What?

My Birthday

Homework Music!

SUCK ON THAT, SHAKESPEARE!

How I'm Doing With My New Year's Resolutions--January

Random, But:

A Note.

My (Rather Anti-Twilight) Thoughts on Eclipse

Slight Dilemma

In Which I Attempt to Make You Laugh with Pictures

Kobo Time!

March 15, People. MARCH 15.

Thought of The Day

For Your Listening Pleasure.

So...This Raw Food Diet...

Problem

The 2010 JEFFY Awards!

2011 New Years Resolutions

My Year. In Statuses.

If You Don't Care About My Writing Stuff, Don't Read This.

ICE CREAM TIME

Fragments!

Fingernails Are Just. Plain. Sucky.

Insert Relevant Title Here